So?
So last week I wrote the 500-word piece for No Cover Magazine about a Chicago band called Company of Thieves. I interviewed the frontwoman (she's 22), Genevieve Schatz. It was fun doing the research, listening to their music, reading about them and the interview. Altogether, I spent about 4 hours in research, interviewing and writing the piece. But it only pays $10 and a by-line. Whoopee.
So I wrote and directed my play, American Right, and it was produced at The Elite Theatre Company in April, 2010--which only happened because I'm the Artistic Director and I have the job of picking the plays. Over a year later, I'm only half-way through reformatting it. You see, I wrote it in a format that's not compatible with what the big play publishers will accept. This should've taken me a month at most. It's boring work, but I can't get it published until I finish the formatting, write a synopsis, package it with a cover letter and send it out to about a half-dozen publishers.
So I finished my second novel, The Plunge . . . a long time ago . . . and finished what I hoped would be a final draft almost two years ago . . . and then a year ago I began posting the first 40 chapters of the novel. I hoped to get some feedback. I got some criticism on the first chapter from one person and that's it.
So I finished posting the 40 chapters of The Plunge and spent some time getting PayPal and re-working my Web site to sell the last ten chapters as a PDF for a nominal fee. No one has bought the last ten chapters. Not my mother, my brother, my cousin or my best friend.
So I self-published my novel Worlds Apart. I sold eight copies at a reading in February, 2010, right after it came out; a few copies were bought by a couple people through iUniverse.com; and I sold about 6 copies to people who just wanted me to leave them alone about it. I think I've sold a total of about 15 copies. No one has bought a copy by reading my Web site--at least as far as I know--and that's why I started the Web site and The American Writer blog.
So I sent out five queries to agents for Worlds Apart, knowing full well I need to send out dozens and knowing full well that they all see a self-published book as a whore with STDs, and got back two Up Yours and three No Response.
So I sent two of my best short stories to three online fiction magazines. Two have rejected; one I haven't heard from.
So I started writing this blog nearly 17 months ago and I'm being attacked by Robot Spam so bad that I'm having to upgrade (spend more money I don't have) and move to Wordpress, because I can't tell if anyone is actually reading it.
So I get this brilliant idea to get contributors involved, and, after begging and coercing, I get five writers to contribute--two of them on two occasions--and then nothing more.
So I get this second brilliant idea to open the 2011 year with a week-long series of pieces by the five contributors, and, after begging and coercing them, I manage to get the five "not-easy" pieces, and I tell them all to keep sending me something to post . . . but nothing comes.
So I get this third brilliant idea to have a contest and arrange to have my childhood friend, Robert, to give me his great images to use as inspiration for short stories, and for the first contest, I get . . . two submissions. I post the winner and give out the prize, thinking, "This will build."
So I put up the second American Pixels contest (probably too soon, but what the heck) and I get . . . none. That's right. So I wrote one myself called Into Sacrifice--probably one of the best short stories I've written in a long time--and post it using the pseudonym of Kai Garcia and congratulate Kai (the winner) by posting the story and making up this grand prize of two tickets to Disneyland valued at $151. And I didn't hear from anyone about the story, about the prize, nothing. Total silence.
So I used to get comments and occasional feedback on the blog, but now I rarely get anything and I'm beginning to think I'm actually writing for maybe 5 people who look at one or two pieces--pieces I often spend 2-4 hours researching and writing--three or four times a month.
So I buy the upgrade and download the Wordpress to get rid of the Robot Spam, but I can't figure out a few things about transferring my blog from Quick Blogcast to Wordpress.
So I let it sit.
So I call the GoDaddy online technical support and learn what I'm doing wrong: nothing. I just didn't know I couldn't do it myself.
So I finally get the Wordpress downloaded and I'm ready to work on it. And that was several days ago. I can't get myself to start learning it. I dread it, in fact.
So I started re-writing the few chapters I'd written of a novel called Cherry Road, asking for feedback, and other than a little on the first chapter from one person, there's been nothing. And besides that, the story creeps me out and I don't know if I want to write it--again.
So I finished my second play, Perfect Quiet Place. I don't have to get anyone's permission to do the play at The Elite Theatre Company, so I'm including it in next year's season, but I want someone else to direct it, but before I do, I have to reformat it and re-write it. It's been on my schedule every day for the last month to work on it and I never get to it.
So . . . I'm obviously not doing too much right. I'm obviously not focusing. I'm obviously not putting in enough work. I'm obviously expecting more for doing less.
So . . . I'll feel sorry for myself tonight. Get up. And figure out what to do next.
So . . . what?
Posted by Tom Eubanks at 5/18/2011 8:02 PM 
Categories: Rants and Raves, See Me Feel Me, General Blogging, Sick and Tired
Tags: Getting Personal Huh Rant
Categories: Rants and Raves, See Me Feel Me, General Blogging, Sick and Tired
Tags: Getting Personal Huh Rant
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