Moreover, Did You Hear the Story about the Conjunctive Adverbs?
Finally, I get to attempt something few would try. Make writing about conjunctive adverbs amusing . . . even fun. Having fun? I'm having fun. You didn't know conjunctive adverbs could be such fun. Now I realize that, in the story, BW is omniscient and all-powerful, so it makes sense that he understood everything about conjunctive adverbs instantly upon hearing Tommy's prayers. But Earth-bound writers need to know a few things about how to use them:
So . . . .
Once upon a time, in a place far, far away, there was Mr. Connect and Ms. Idea. Indeed, each was single, searching for a marriage of intimacy and independence; however, the Big Writer-in-the-Sky never came calling on them. Mr. Connect was first and foremost a Conjunction from out West and needed, nevertheless, to meet Ms. Idea, a dyed-in-the-wool Adverb from the South. Mr. Connect and Ms. Idea were nowhere near to each other. Nonetheless, they wanted the other--badly.
They prayed to the BW-in-the-Sky every time he sat down to write. BW-in-the-Sky didn't hear their prayers; therefore, the marriage was suspended until the next time he'd sit down to write. But each time it was the same. Big Writer just wouldn't listen.
Something unexpected happened, however. An intercession . . . .
A blogging fool
named Tommy O'Toole
rode into town riding a mule.
(Wasn't that unexpected? The rhyme. Not that Tommy rode a mule.)
He lit down in the town,
in a pew of a church,
to confess to Big Writer he was in quite a lurch.
BW-in-the-Sky
with diamonds for eyes,
couldn't help be distracted by Tommy's loud cries.
He cries for intimacy,
and independence, too;
subsequently, BW thought, "Tommy got through!"
Looking down from the sky,
gouging diamonds from his eyes,
guess who Big Writer spies--Connect/Idea, likewise.
BW calls to Tommy,
"Hear you loud and clear! Connection and relationships, ya hear?"
Subsequently, meanwhile and therefore, the Big Writer-in-the-Sky came down to Earth to toil in the soil (sorry, didn't mean for that one to happen) to mine only for a very special gem: conjunctive adverbs. And BW took Mr. Connect and he married them to one another--two as one--and instantly they had offspring which formed a vein filled with accordingly, however, nonetheless, also, indeed, otherwise, besides, instead, similarly, consequently, likewise, still, conversely, meanwhile, subsequently, finally, moreover, then, furthermore, nevertheless, therefore, hence, next, thus . . .the mother lode.
And he saw that it was good. The end. Whew.
Conjunctions have one job: to connect. I use them to join words, phrases and clauses to clarify what I am saying. Just their presence gives my writing smooth transitions from one idea to another. When I use an adverb to make the connections, it's called a conjunctive adverb, what a surprise.
You may wonder what the heck it does. Not the surprise, the conjunctive adverb. It joins, introduces, interrupts or concludes. Did you know it could do all that? Well, it can. (Can you tell I'm really high on these conjunctive adverbs?)
When joining, a semi-colon precedes and a comma (usually) follows the conjunction; from the above story and verse:
Indeed, each was single, searching for a marriage of intimacy and independence; however, the Big Writer-in-the-Sky never came calling on them.
BW-in-the-Sky didn't hear their prayers; therefore, the marriage was suspended until the next time he'd sit down to write.
He cried for intimacy,
and independence, too;
subsequently, BW thought, "Tommy got through!"
When introducing, interrupting or concluding, a comma (sometimes not) is used to punctuate the sentence:
Nonetheless, they wanted the other--badly.
Mr. Connect was first and foremost a Conjunction from out West and needed, nevertheless, to meet Ms. Idea, a dyed-in-the-wool Adverb from the South.
Something unexpected happened, however.
Conjunctive adverbs make it possible for me to join two main clauses, connect two complete ideas, and, when used to introduce, interrupt or conclude, they show relationships between ideas within an independent clause. Without this gem, I'd write only in simple sentences, one thought leaping to another thought like a, oh, let's say a kangaroo, leaping over transitions in a single bound. Without this gem, I'd write like Hemingway. Oh, wait. I mean his style, not his success.
Finally, similarly, accordingly, conjunctive adverbs add rhythm to my writing.
Ana-one, ana-two, ana-three!
Categories: Finally, On Writing
Tags: Essay Just for Laughs Punctuation and Grammar Storytelling Working It
That was a tremendously fun piece. If only high school English teachers could be so creative.... Students might actually learn to write comprehensible English sentences. Imagine that!
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Thanks. I was hoping the 4 hours I spent writing it would pay off with lots of fun for everyone.
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