Character Descriptions: More or Less
Randy's first impression of Rhonda was stamped on his brain not by her open, oval face, her perfect nose, and delicate skin, but her perpetually distorted, Gumby-like mouth.
Too much description?
Randy's first impression of Rhonda was stamped on his brain because of her green eye.
Not enough description?
I describe a character to the similar extent I would introduce them to someone. Say I'm in Baskin-Robbins ice cream store--and I probably am if it's dollar-scoop Tuesday--and I'm with my daughter. A fellow writer I know comes in and I introduce that person to my daughter. I don't tell them much, since they have very little in common. But if a mother and her daughter come in, I might introduce my daughter and add some other information, like where she goes to school, or that we're on our way to her horseback riding lesson.
I used to describe every character from top to bottom (well, I went lower than the bottom; sometimes down to the feet) the first time the character showed up in my story. Over time, I learned that this was not always necessary and in some instances could potentially distract my reader from the story.
She was tall for a woman--nearly 6 feet--with milky green eyes, a thin nose, a figure that screamed "attention!" with legs slightly bowed, and hair that fanned above her head like a Vegas showgirl's feathered hat.
There's some funny imagery here that I like. It helps the reader visualize what I see in my head. But is it necessary? That's the real question. How much description I need to use to describe a character depends upon this:
1. Is this a main or minor character? If it's a main character, I'll use more description. I want to invite the reader to meet my characters, get to know them as I do, as interesting and multi-faceted individuals with strengths and shortcomings. My description should begin the reader's attraction to certain characters and repulsion from others.
I can expose the look of my main characters incrementally or through the eyes of another character, like my opening example with Randy's impression of Rhonda. In my novel, The Plunge, Joe Cox's point of view is used to tell his part of the story. I describe him for the first time when he notices how he looks in his rearview mirror and thinks about how he looks.
In a main character's point of view, it's easier to describe minor characters, since the main character notices attributes of that character and I read what they see. Another interesting method is to have different characters see and internally describe another character each in their own way. What this does is give perspective and personality to the character doing the observing.
2. Is the description only for the reader's visualization? If how a character looks is not important to the story and it's only to draw the reader's visual senses into the story, I have to ask myself, How much description do I write for this character to create enough visualization but without slowing the rhythm of the story? And how much do I need to give the reader to introduce this character in his pertinent scope of the story? For example: Describing a waitress in a single scene involving my main character is not only unnecessary but will probably mislead my reader. The more attention I draw to a minor character, the more my reader will give importance to the action of that character.
Randy looked around the cafe, found an empty booth and sat facing the front door. He didn't want any surprises. The waitress asked him if he wanted a menu. He said, "Just coffee," she nodded and left his table.
All I did here was describe the action of the waitress, since she is not a character that has any pertinence to the scene or the story.
Randy looked around the cafe, found an empty booth and sat facing the front door. He didn't want any surprises. The waitress asked him if he wanted a menu. He almost didn't hear what she said, because he couldn't keep from staring at the shiitake mushroom she had for a nose.
If this poor waitress's weird-looking nose is important to the story or the scene, fine, but if I'm just trying to give the reader a funny visualization, I'm cheating the reader. The reader will expect this character trait to be meaningful.
3. What is this character's personality? When I write a character, I want to be original. But I start with visualizing people I've known or met recently. I look at pictures in magazines or on the Internet. When I find a person that fits the personality of my character, I use that image to give me ideas for how I want my character to look. In my novel, The Plunge, I describe one of my primary characters as a very short woman ("a Munchkin") with broad shoulders and a horsey face. My friend Bob read it and wrote to me that he was confused by the description. It made him think she was this muscle-bound dwarf, when that's not the image I was trying to plant in the reader's mind. When I looked at the description in the context of her personality and the scene, I understood why Bob was not impressed with the reality of this character. On one hand she's supposed to be athletic, with the ability to wrangle large animals, yet I was describing her in a way that made it unbelievable. I wasn't thinking enough about her personality. I was trying too hard to create a visually unique character, when having a unique personality was what I should have been pursuing.
In my private investigation business, we describe the subjects of your investigation thoroughly the first time we see them. Here's description in it's most naked form:
Subject emerged from the residence, entered his vehicle and departed. He may best be described as male, Caucasian, approximately 58 years old, 6' 4" tall, 285 pounds, with short brown hair and a goatee.
That's a standard description, written in the same order every time. A description like this rarely works in creative writing. But in private investigation, we avoid being creative.
Subject strolled from the two-story apartment and to his red Jeep. At 58 years old and 285 pounds, he struggled to plant his body behind the wheel. Then he combed his fingers through his brown hair, scratched the goatee hairs on his chin and sped off.
About the same information, but this time I was creative by meshing the story with the description. I made what's happening more important than what the character looks like doing it.
Character descriptions--more or less--are how I believably "people" my story with real and memorable personalities.
But it never hurts to describe a shapely nude woman wearing only a full-body net stocking to distract the reader from a boring story. Try it. I just did.
Posted by Tom Eubanks at 2/2/2011 6:13 PM 
Categories: See Me Feel Me, On Writing
Tags: Essay Storytelling Working It
Categories: See Me Feel Me, On Writing
Tags: Essay Storytelling Working It
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