Lights! Camera! Verb!
When I write, I want to continually imagine pictures, like frames of a film, for the reader. Description is great to paint the backdrop, flesh out the details of what a person looks like, add color and even smells to the page. But the one thing that really engages a reader is the action. So I pretend I'm a director sitting in my specially-made director chair with my name on the back getting ready to write. When I'm ready, I think: Lights! Camera! Action!
Verbs are action words. But verbs also add substance to the active elements of my sentences. Some verbs are weak; some are strong. Some are vague; some are vivid. Strong, vivid verbs transform my sentences. Take that last sentence, for instance. Originally, I wrote: "Strong, vivid verbs change my sentences." Change is a perfectly good verb, but it's pedestrian (uninteresting). I change my mind. I change my direction. I change my underwear. Transform is a verb that implies a change for the better: an advancement, a refinement.
But as action words, verbs transcend (to rise above in excellence) my sentences from the ordinary. Let's say I'm telling the story about a fat man (yeah, it's all about me) going to the store to buy ice cream. I could write it like this:
The fat man went to the store to buy ice cream.
Okay. To the point. Very Hemingway. But not very interesting or specific. How did he go? By car, by bike, by pogo stick--what? I want to fashion a detailed picture for the reader. I could then write this:
The fat man jogged to the store to buy ice cream.
That's better. I expanded the picture by telling you specifically how he went. The action is more specific and tells something more about the man. He's fat, he's jogging, and he's going to buy ice cream.
As an investigator, I learned to be specific with my verbs when describing what the Subject of an investigation did. For instance: Subject lifted the garage door. Well, did he lift it? Yes. Sort of. But to be specific, I think of lifting something that is unattached. I lift the chair. So what do I do with a garage door? I raise it.
Subject held a crowbar.
Okay. I can picture that. Let's say I write it like this, though:
Subject gripped a crowbar.
Gripped means "holding," but it enhances the meaning with value. When I grip something, I'm doing so now and I'm gripping it to secure it in my hand, to use it forcefully--it's a stronger version of "holding."
Subject grasped a crowbar.
This implies an action that includes the motion to take possession of the crowbar. Where "gripped" is the result of the action of reaching for the crowbar and "holding" it firmly, "grasped" is the action of taking hold of the crowbar. I can see where it might look like I'm being picky, but I'm not. "Held," "gripped," and "grasped" are similar but not the same in action.
Here's a sentence from the first paragraph from my novel, The Plunge:
The air had cooled quickly, the sky had dissolved to black and now billions of stars blinked as the moon glowed through a procession of clouds.
Cooled, dissolved, blinked and glowed. These are all good verbs. But imagine if I'd written it like this:
The air had dropped in temperature quickly, the sky darkened and now billions of stars twinkled as the moon
shone through a procession of clouds.
It's not a bad sentence, but here's why I think my final version is better. Cooled says it concisely in one word, and "dropped in temperature" doesn't tell us what's really happening. It could mean the temperature dropped from 100 to 90 degrees, which means it's still hot. So I'm specific about the temperature dropping by telling the reader it was cooling.
Dissolved is a better verb than "darkened" for a couple of reasons. First, the character in the scene sees things cinematically; he wants to be a film maker. "Dissolve" is a scriptwriting term for one shot to fade out simultaneously with the next shot fading in: a dissolve. So I used a verb that foreshadowed something about my character. Second, I think "dissolved" adds speed to the picture of the sky darkening and the stars coming out. "Dissolved" is slow and the image of a light sky turning to a dark sky, and then the stars' light growing in radiance, is a truer picture of what I wanted the reader to see.
When moonlight shines through clouds, the moisture in the clouds diffuses and pulsates the light, making the moon "glow" with light that appears to move. Glowed gave an image of light in movement, while "shine" or "shone" was more static for the picture I saw in my head. I wanted the moonlight to appear out of focus, "hiding" behind clouds but radiating an other-worldly glow. This added to the creepy mood.
Some of you may be asking yourself: "Does he really expect me to take this much into account when I'm choosing a single verb?" Well, yeah. If I want to communicate more than information, I better take the time to use the word that serves multiple purposes. I think of character, mood, the poetic sound, and specific images. I enjoy searching for the word that will make the sentence more effective. I take the time, because I always remember that writing is communication done slowly.
Cut!
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