Why the Hell Do I have to Press "1" for English?
ENGLISH SPOKEN HERE
Español es el lenguaje de muchas empresas y agencias gubernamentales que prefieren escribir y hablar. Parece que todo está en Inglés y Español. Y cuando llamo a alguna parte, quieren que me empuje 1 para Inglés. ¿Por qué los demonios me tienen que empujar 1 para Inglés. Este es el Estados Unidos de América, no la República de El Norte de México.
Translation: Spanish is the language many governmental agencies and companies prefer I write and speak. It seems that everything is in English and Spanish. And when I call they want me to press "1" for English. Why the hell do I have to press "1" for English? This is the United States of America, not the Republic of Northern Mexico.
Some companies tell Spanish speakers to press "1" for Spanish. That's the way it should be. Let those who can't speak the language take the extra steps to communicate to the business or government agency. Why the hell should English-speaking people in an English-speaking country have to do anything more to hear their language spoken to them?
I speak and write English probably because I was born in the USA and that's what I was taught to speak. When I was younger, I took 5 classes of Conversational Spanish in Junior and Senior High School. I could speak and write Spanish enough to communicate to Spanish-speaking people in east Los Angeles, where I used to sell door-to-door. I even wrote a Spanish sales talk for the guys working for me. I was only 16, but I understood that I had to communicate to sell my product. But that was my choice.
I've known my next-door neighbors for 16 years. They are good neighbors. But the matriarch still can't communicate in English very well at all. She speaks maybe 30-50 words of basic English. So we don't talk much. It's "the beans smell good," and "your dogs are barking too much" and that's about it. When I try having a conversation (my 10-year-old daughter Hannah plays with her 10-year-old granddaughter), she nods and says, "Yes, yes." Once I tested her and asked, "So it's okay if Hannah comes and lives with you permanently?" She hesitated--a sign she didn't know what the hell I was asking her--then said, "Yes, yes." I said, "Okay, I'll pack her things and she'll be over soon. I hope you don't mind if I come over every Sunday for a visit and dinner." She said: "Yes, yes." I said: "'Yes,' you mind or 'yes' you don't mind?" The conversation had gone way too long for her, so she just shrugged and said, "No sé," which translates "I don't know."
So, you're probably wondering what this has to do with writing? Well, first of all, this is not a political rant, it's a common sense rant. As a writer of English-language books, stories and plays, I see it as one big economic back-fire not to encourage people to read English. So I have a new novel out and there is a whole bunch of people living right here in Ventura County, California, who wouldn't even consider reading it simply because they don't read English. My play, American Right, opens at the Petit Playhouse in Oxnard, California, on April 23. Oxnard is the largest city in Ventura County. Mexican-Americans make up most of the population. So I expect few of the patrons will be coming from Oxnard.
Even at the expense of losing money, I now refuse to facilitate a person's aversion to learning English. But it's in my best interest--and theirs--for me to speak English to them and they to me.
In 1992, my wife and I went to Spain to the island of Majorca. We got lost in La Palma, the capital city, in a rain storm and just wanted to have some lunch. We were used to finding someone who spoke English at the hotel. But now in the city, we couldn't find anyone who spoke English to help us find our way out of the city.
We found a restaurant and sat down. The owner brought us a menu, greeting us in Spanish. I said something to him in English. He just looked at me and walked away. I thought he misunderstood me. We looked at the menu, which was all in Spanish. No English translation. I called the owner over with a look and a smile and asked him what this and that meant. He just looked at us for a moment, then took back the menus. Again, I thought he misunderstood me. We figured he thought we ordered the items I had pointed to for translation. After several minutes sitting there, getting hungrier by the second, I saw the owner standing in the back talking with the cook. No one was working. I called him over with a look and a quizzical smirk. He just looked away. When he emerged, greeted other customers and never brought us water or food, my wife and I figured out that his taking back the menus was his way of saying, "When you learn the language, we'll do business."
At the time, it ticked us off. But in hindsight, he was absolutely right. After that, we studied our English-to-Spanish dictionary more and in a short time we could communicate to the Majorcan Spaniards.
I completely understand that there are people who have recently arrived to our country who are still working at learning the language. But there are millions who just don't bother. I'm not a bigot for refusing to speak Spanish. And I'm not being petty when I refuse to do business with companies who expect me to press "1" for English. I just want to encourage the reading of American-language books, magazines and plays.
You're not alone. My kids are 1/4 Mexican, and they also can't stand having to dial 1 to speak English. You should go to Mexico and see how they do it. Speak Spanish or die.
Reply to this
There's nothing wrong with Americans being better at dealing with immigrants--we should show the world that we love immigrants. But when an immigrant turns their nose up at learning the language, they are hurting themselves and putting a hold on a wonderful opportunity to assimilate and have a full relationship in this country.
Reply to this
well said. Instead of buying i-pods and boomer radios with CDs of Mexican music. They'd do better to buy a language course.,
Reply to this
I couldn't agree more (and certainly couldn't have expressed it any better). Your conversation with your neighbor just about made me fall off my chair laughing.
Reply to this
I could barely keep a straight face when I had the conversation with her. Thanks for visiting.
Reply to this