Hi, I'm Tom and I'm a Control Freak
In written communication, I have the time--or should have--to think before I "speak." It goes without saying (lovely pun) that readers have an unspoken expectation that, as the writer, I have chosen my words carefully to convey my thoughts, emotions and point of view. The only way for me as a writer to get around that fact is to admit to WUI. Writing Under the Influence of...
- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Sleep Deprivation
- Diarrhea
- Ego
...and writers as I know them generally keep these influences as secret as a politician's mistresses...or a golfer's.
When I write, I read what I have "said." Repeatedly. I expurgate (word of the day!--look it up), expunge, and emphasize with a click of the U or I buttons on my task bar. I can demonstrate how angry I am by using CAPITAL LETTERS and even throw an exclamation point at you. It's wonderful. It's safe. It's very, very...controling. Which leads me to my real point.
If I am what I write, then I have to admit to myself that I write because I want to control every word you "hear." I want to control the emotions you have, or at least the short list of emotions you might reach for in reading what I have to say, the story I am telling. A set of ellipsis periods (...), a comma, or a decision to start a new paragraph are all designed to control you. Yes. I admit it.
So. I am a control freak. Yes, I'm a writer. But first and foremost I'm a control freak. A nice, benevolent control freak. The kind you probably don't mind, because you are a partner in this process. You give me, the writer, permission to control you. If I stood before you and began speaking these words, you would likely get defensive--come on, admit it!--and you might even feel challenged to ignore what I'm saying just to prove that you can't be controlled. But when I write, using subtle tools of mind-control called phrasing, punctuation and style, you are not just receptive but malleable. And because I can bend and mold you, direct and mis-direct you, without one complaint from you, I am rewarded with a satisfaction only afforded a dictator. Total control.
It's all about speed--motion, not meth. Listeners take a hit with conversation at a velocity that stings, stuns and too often confuses. Writing is slow, methodical. Its stealthy control over the reader is gentle, even when the words on the page do not compliment the reader. For writers, it's delicious. Speaking is to writing what McDonald's is to homemade.
So, fellow writers, savor your control. Enjoy life in the slow lane. Keep controlling. I mean, writing.
The great part of control-freakiness is that Blogs do exist. And we can all be writers. The benefit (and drawback) to this realm is that the freedom of speech is paramount. Best advice is to have fun with it.
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Good start, Tom. A bit wordy.
Where do the quotes go with parentheses?
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Quotes go inside the parentheses if the quoted word or words are inside the parentheses: Mark hit a great golf shot and rolled his eyes ("false modesty"), then grinned at his own transparency. If the parenthetical word or words are inside a longer quote, then the ending quotation mark goes outside the parentheses: "If you think that drive is good, watch this (if you dare)."
A bit wordy? How else do you expect me to control anything if I don't use a whole lot of words? Abracadabra just won't do.
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